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  • Writer's pictureLaura Rocha

At THE BLONDS, Excess is Everything

The brand isn't attempting to cater to the general public. Thank god.

 


While watching THE BLONDS SS24 show, I had flashbacks to the Victoria’s Secret 2011 fashion show, expecting Adam Levine to come out and perform Moves Like Jagger any second. While the American lingerie brand left a gap in the market (and much to be desired from its 2023 comeback), it appears THE BLONDS are here to fulfill your sparkly angel fantasies.


Although edgier than the original Victoria’s Secret shows ever dared to be (an edge highlighted by hot and steamy reggaetón playing in the background, as opposed to bubblegum pop), the concept of Very Hot Slim Woman In Limited Glittering Clothing remains. With feathers, headwear, and shimmering hair parts, the models strutted down the runway and pouted like an Olsen twin in 2008. The brand delivered what they’re best known for, according to its website: “...creating collections that are glamorously over the top with a rebellious twist that cater to the entertainment industry. Inspired by music, film, and art, the brand utilizes an eclectic mix of textiles and embroidery to create hand-crafted, one-of-a-kind garments that focus on accentuating the human form.”


In a way, the accentuation of the human form they refer to is really exaggeration (and not all natural). Like Thierry Mugler, THE BLONDS’ garments imagine the female body as something sculptural — but their cast of highly-produced models are the type to leave little to chance, with features that can’t be achieved to that level without some level of synthetic help: perfectly round, big breasts, full lips, 0% buccal fat, and smooth, keratin-soaked hair.



Every season, people who think fashion has nothing to do with them complain about wearability. It’s true that these items are not wearable, but it’s also true that they’re not meant to be. THE BLONDS design items for the biggest pop stars in the world to wear onstage, from Lady Gaga to Beyoncé. They collaborate with Mattel to dress Barbie and with Disney to dress their villains. Their clothes belong in fantasyland, and through that, perhaps they remain removed from the problem that caused Victoria’s Secret downfall in the first place — they aren’t attempting to cater to the general public. That has never been their thing.


Phillippe Blond, designer and co-founder of the brand, modeled a golden jumpsuit, and then took a bow with Creative Director David Blond, with the couple giving each other a peck on the lips — perhaps performative and genuine at the same time. The moment, like the collection, will remain in the sparkling, Barbie World universe of THE BLONDS. 🌀

 

You can view the whole collection here.

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